Ways to Handle Pesky Telemarketers

Yesterday I answered an unusual, but insufferable, 17 calls from telemarketers. Mind you, not sales persons that knew my name making a professional sales call. You will probably recognize the following types of calls. I will also tell you how I deal with some of them.

If you're as busy as I am, you surely don't have time to waste on nuisance calls. And I almost had a car accident trying to answer one of these calls because the number looked like a possible client.

Options for response -

1. Just hang up right after they ask for the person handling the bottled water account, or any such nonsense.

2. Tell them that they need to speak to "Sonny Maxwell", or any other non-existing person that you wish to make up. The advantage to this counter move is that every time someone asks for Sonny you will know it is either the same telemarketer or someone new to whom Sonny's name has been sold. 

If your calls are coming in on your iPhone or other device that lets you save the contact, add the number to a contact named "forSonny". It's now fun to watch how many calls come in under the caller ID "forSonny", which you can either send to voice mail or deal with if you're in the mood to mess with them. You can do the same with any other non-Sonny nuisance call. I created a user called "Ignore", added the nuisance numbers to it, and it's amazing now how many calls I can just ignore and send to voice mail. 

3. Send any known nuisance calls to voice mail. 99% will not leave a message, so you won't have to waste time retrieving a message.

4. Always tell Sonny's callers that he is not in, you don't know when he'll be in, and that he's totally unpredictable. Or tell them he's on sabbatical to India for three months. Be sure to disconnect the call without saying good-bye. If you feel that the call might be of interest, first ask them what it's about. Then, after they tell you everything, tell them nope, they will have to call back for Sonny after he gets back from Antartica. If they ask whether anyone else can talk to them about their product or service tell them nope, they will have to call back for Sonny. And don't give them your real name. Tell them to call back for Sonny, and disconnect the line.

5. When they ask for the person that handles the office supplies, tell them you don't use office supplies. Disconnect and add the number to your "Ignore" contact. Telemarketers selling copier supplies are usually scammers selling bootleg toners or inks. Don't ever deal with these people. If you ask for the name of their company and phone number they will actually hang up on you.

6. Want to have some more fun? When they ask for the owner or manager of the business, ask them for the name of the person they are trying to talk to, which of course they will not know. Tell them that when they have done their homework and know whom they are calling, they are welcome to call back and ask for an appointment. I have usually found silence on the line, as they don't know how to respond to this one. Disconnect and add the number to your "Ignore" contact.

7.  If you are getting calls "on behalf of AT&T" or to speak to the person who handles the AT&T account, the call is probably not from AT&T. It is a telemarketing reseller who makes a commission on reviewing your account and selling you a new package of services. Hang up and add the number to your "Ignore" contact. The fundamental problem here is that they have access to your AT&T business account information. What you need to do is contact the AT&T business office and tell them to make your account details unavailable to third parties. Once you do this those calls should stop. This also works for Verizion or whomever your business lines are with.
8.  Many telemarketers show up as Toll Free Number on the caller ID, with 800, 866 and other such numbers. You can bet that more than 90% are telemarketers. One way to verify is to answer and wait for their delay and their predictable "hello?". This means that a computer has made the call for them and when you answered it routed the call to the telemarketer, who experienced a delay, and is trained to first query the line with "hello?" Hang up and add the number to your "Ignore" contact. They will never call back because their computerized system simply rings the next victim on the list. You can simply send most toll free callers to voicemail. The only ones who will actually leave a message are recorded marketing calls, or legitimate callers like banks' verification departments, or some utilities.
What a wonderful day - I was able to write this without getting a single call.
Bill Hitz
What are your funny stories in dealing with telemarketers?

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